The Girl with No Name

A lovely quick update on things: Season 6 of Suits starts up again on the 13th of July and Mr. Robot and Halt and Catch Fire will start sometime around then, though dates haven’t been confirmed. Orange is the New Black Season 4 came out on the 17th of June on Netflix, but after my 13 hour binge watch of Daredevil a few months ago, I decided against doing that all again – so you’ll get a proper review of if next week 🙂 tv sad parks and recreation amy poehler death

Game of Thrones E08
Things are starting to pick up again, ready in time for the historically awesomely epic episode 9. Considering the last 5 seasons have included the Ned Stark’s beheading, the Battle of Blackwater, The Red Wedding, The Battle at Castle Black and Shireen’s unfortunate death, this season is leading up to one of the most epic episodes ever. It’s called The Battle of the Bastards, and you can only guess what is going to happen – Go Team Snow (is anyone actually on Team Bolton?????)!!!! Anyway let’s start this:

Braavos: Lady Crane helps a bleeding Arya and fixes her up, allowing her to rest and recover. The next morning, a boy comes to the Lady’s quarters and after a scuffle, Arya finds the Lady dead on the floor and the boy standing over her, who’s actually the Waif. After a run through Braavos (that I’m pretty sure should have killed her because she’s sliced her stomach open and does a jump that should have broken both legs…) she ends up using her newly learned skills to kill the smiling bitch with Needle, and place the Waif’s face in the temple before telling Jaqen that she’s Arya of House Stark and she’s heading back home. Do I hear a Stark reunion happening?? And I’m sorry, but what a useless story arc. Apart from learning how to fight blind, Arya story hasn’t grown at all and she’s still the same person. Eh, not impressed.
The Hound: He manages to chase down 4 of the Red Guard and kills them out of revenge but knows that the leader is still missing, so continues on his journey where he finds the Brotherhood Without Banners, about to hang three of their men, including the leader the Hound wants. Beric Dondarrion respects the Hound, so gives him the opportunity to kill two of the men, only by hanging, not gutting. The Hound gets his revenge and the Brotherhood offer him a place in their group, to go North and fight the White Walkers, though I reckon they’re going to get stuck in the middle of the battle and I pray they side with Jon, because he’s gonna need all the men he can get!
Meereen: Tyrion and Varys see the Red Lady 2.0 and her priests talking to the crowds and see Meereen prospering again. We also find out that Varys leaves for Westeros, with the aim of returning with more allies and ships to help their cause, and can I just say, I want one of those bright yellow Meereenese dresses stat, they look amazing! After a while, we see Tyrion, Missandei and Grey Worm actually drinking and laughing, only to have their happy moment ruined by all the Masters coming back to claim their property. And just as things are getting bad, DANY COMES BACK! All we know at this point is shit is going down and the Masters are catapulting the giant pyramid and Dany arrives on Drogons back, ready to save her people.
Kings Landing – SUCK IT CERSEI! Anyway, we’ll get to that later, but man, I haven’t smiled so much in a long time. So the High Sparrows minions come to bring Cersei to the Church to talk to the High Sparrow, but she refuses, leading to the Sparrows being complete idiots and trying to use force against Gregor Clegane, obvs one of them died because its a stupid decision to go up against a once-dead-now-alive giant killing machine and Cersei has made her point. In the next scene, Tommen calls for a Royal Announcement where he reveals that Loras and Cersei will be facing trial at the Great Sept of Balor on the first day of the Festival of the Mother. To make matters even worse for Cersei, he reveals that he’s forbidden trial by combat and Cersei realises that she can’t use Gregor to fight her battles and she is definitely and infinitely screwed. Can you imagine the deaths of Cersei AND Ramsay in the same episode? Maybe the world is a good place!
Riverrun – Bronn. Man, I love that man, just pure sass and cheek. Brienne and Pod meet up with Bronn and Jaime and there’s some sweet reunions. Brienne tells Jaime of Sansa’s plan, to convince Blackfish to give Riverrun to Jaime, so he can leave and give safe passage to the Tully’s so they can join the North to fight for Jon. However, when Brienne goes to try and talk to Blackfish, he refuses to surrender saying that it’s his home versus Sansa’s and he won’t risk it. After that huge failure, Jaime decides to use Edmure, threatening him with his Walder wife and baby son, making him go to the castle and demand entry. The Blackfish refuses him entry but his men have to obey their Lord and at that point, that’s Lord Edmure Tully. Edmure tells the men to lay down their arms and open the gates, admitting the Walder/Lannister troops into castle, with a disappointed Blackfish looking on. Brienne and Pod managed to escape the castle but unfortunately Blackfish dies trying to fight the Frey men and helping the other two escape. The last thing we see is Jaime standing in the castle looking down on Brienne and Pod escape in a boat along the stream – forever apart these two. Imagine Jaime and Tormund fighting for Brienne’s attention, is that not a fight you want to see? As much as I like Jaime now, I kinda want Tormund to win, just to get a few laughs because I reckon he would no idea how to deal with Lady Brienne of Tarth hahahaha:)